Introduction

“How do you get married if you don’t date?”

This question was written rather humorously in Joshua Harris’ book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”. Although the phrase is no stranger to me.

Having similar beliefs as Joshua Harris, I was encouraged after reading his book. It proved that I was not alone with my beliefs.

I have often been criticized because of these beliefs, questioned by supposedly well-meaning Christians who encourage others, including myself, to adhere to the norms of culture. After several challenges to these beliefs, I have persisted in seeking the truth regarding courtship through the light of God’s Word.




Continuously, I have been hounded by questions from both believers and unbelievers, and I feel that I have been quite adept at answering their questions. But the questions I have found most difficult to answer are those which come from myself, usually from the heart, not because I am ignorant of the answers, rather because my flesh would like to believe otherwise. And that foe can be, at times, very hard to conquer.

I write this for myself, as a continuous reminder, for my heart forgets easily. Also, should anyone be kind enough to read what I have written, I pray that you learn from the lessons I believe God has imparted to me. I am aware that many of the things I will write about will be new to many people, and some may be disagreeable to you, but I hope that you let the light of God’s Word be your basis as you continuously keep your mind open to the ideas and truths, which I pray, will revolutionize not only your mind, but most especially your life, and the lives of those that surround you.




This will not be based on Joshua Harris’ book, although I will be making a number of citations from it.

I did not intend to write so seriously. Harris’ book was written in a light tone, with good reason. It attracts and maintains attention, especially from a younger audience, which is usually a necessity. But besides the length, this being much shorter (at least that’s my target), perhaps that will be the difference between his book and this. I am finding it difficult to write light-heartedly about such a serious and important topic. I hope I’m not boring you (too much), but rest assured, I can’t keep my personality bottled up too long, my humor will eventually leak out.

Also, Harris’ book was set in U.S.’ culture; this will be more Philippinized. For example, Harris uses the term dating, which has a somewhat different connotation in the Philippines. But if you study his book, and place his concepts in a Philippine setting, what Harris is really referring to isn’t just the act of dating, but rather the Filipino mindset of “panliligaw”, the closest English word to the term being courtship.




I have also been inspired to write this by the numerous questions posed to me by fellow Christians, and my college students, about relationships, and my own lifestyle. Maybe someday they will benefit from this, as well as others who have similar questions.




Thanks for having read this far. I hope you read this through, from start to end, before judging it.

God bless you!


- A.L.E. -